There were 4 guys John, Franky, Manav and Ashley who found a small bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that they had released him , the genie said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true."
John ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "Wine". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. John was ecstatic.
Next came Franky. He did the same and shouted, "Vodka" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
Manav jumped and shouted, "Beer".
The last of them was Ashley. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he stepped on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "Shit!!!!!!!........."
Moral of the story : Mind your language; you never know what it will land you in.
Mr. A, Mr. Z , a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl and Mr.A are sitting there looking perplexed.
Mr.Z is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking:
That Mr. Z must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped.
Mr.Z is thinking:
"Damn it, that Mr. A must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me and slapped me instead."
The beautiful girl is thinking:
"That Mr. Z must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."
Mr.A is thinking:
"If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Mr.Z again."
These a couple of interesting facts, I came across while reading the magazine India Today’s 30th Aniverssary Issue, 30 Best, July 3, 2006, which I wanted to share with you.
Facts:
- Lata Mangeskar has sung more than 40,000 songs till date.
- APJ Abdul Kalam, the present President of India has doctorates from 30 institutions.
- WIPRO is a short name for Western India Vegetable Products Limited. Azim Premji took over his fathers business at the age of 21 and he turned it around - from a vegetable oil business to one of the worlds largest IT services provider and software behemoth.
- Laxmi Niwas Mittal travels over 3,50,000 km a year spanning 14 countries, to manage an empire that employs 1,65,000 workers producing 70 million tones of steel a year.
- Dharmender (Dharam Paaji) signed his first Dil Bhi Tera Hum Bhi Tere for Rs 51 and a daily breakfast of tea and two pieces of toast with butter but no jam.
- Kamal Hassan had managed to bag 171 awards (national as well as international).
Quote:
“Nobody has yet invented the condom for the pen. My pen is still sexy”, said Khuswant Singh in 1993.
Delhi
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paas
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nizamudin
railwaystation
ki
train no. 6162
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route
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3rd station
bharatpur
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ek chote
se
gaon
k
nazdek
wale
kabristan
k
chowkidar
ki
kabr
pe
baithe
hue
kutte
ki
aage
wali
right
side
ki
taang
ki
tisri
ungli
k
nakhun
k
paas
chupe
hue
chichar
k
pait
mein
rehne
wale
bacteria
k
chromosomal
DNA
k
thymine
nucleotide
k
5th
carbon
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outer
shell
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4th
electron
ki
kasam
SIRF PAKANE KE LIYE POST KIYA
Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
really seam to respond to me belly well.
I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru
my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to
pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me
taken at my last jobb.
---------------------------------
Employer's reply:
Dear Peggy,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....
Welcome onboard!!!
If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section
Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of him simply over the joy of seeing you
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
Buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then................
Buy a cat!
(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)
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