An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
And a keyboard was on a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A hard drive was a trip on the road
Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,
Pasting, you did with glue.
The Web was where a spider lived
And a virus was the flu!
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Here is the reason.
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head
spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just
a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything
he had done.
In the movies of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he
went paranoid. Here are a few scenes from his movies :-
1.) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be
cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant
is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his
ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live
Rajnikant !
2.) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant
has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he
does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster &
shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2
pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle
gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3.) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no
bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,
Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches
the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
"Bang"..........the gangster dies.
This was too much for Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided
to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and
thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics
The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't
changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on
the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikant can't jump even
if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally
use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton Dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible)
Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the
air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the
second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun
fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton Commits Suicide !!!

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This case happened in an Indian hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to
ward off evil........

Just when the! clock struck 11...
and then......

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!!!!!

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.



Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

------------ --------- --------- -----
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.


Sardar bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying,

Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
What is Common between: Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa falls in luv with a nurse...After much thinking, he finally writes
a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
Santa: Very long!
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa went to battery shop and asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books, when the teacher erases the
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: No, you'll die because haven't you heard train is coming on

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Position : Shooting guard
Nickname :"Air Jordan", "His Airness"
Height : 6 ft 6 in (1.98 m)
Weight : 216 lb (98 kg)
Nationality : United States
Born : February 17, 1963 (age 44)Brooklyn, New York City
College : North Carolina
Draft : 3rd overall, 1984Chicago Bulls
Pro career : 1984–1993, 1995–1998, 2001–2003
Former teams : Chicago Bulls 1984–1993, 1995-1998Washington Wizards 2001–2003
ACC Men's Basketball Player of the Year (1984)
USBWA College Player of the Year(1984)
Naismith College Player of the Year (1984)
John R. Wooden Award (1984)
Adolph Rupp Trophy (1984)
NBA Rookie of the Year (1985)
NBA Defensive Player of the Year (1988)
NBA MVP (1988, 1991, 1992, 1996, 1998)
NBA Finals MVP (1991, 1992, 1993, 1996, 1997, 1998)
NBA's 50th Anniversary All-Time Team (1997)
2000 ESPY Athlete of the Century2000 ESPY Male Athlete Decade Award (1990's)
2000 ESPY Pro Basketballer Decade Award (1990's)
2000 ESPY Play of the Decade (for his right to left-handed scoop shot against Lakers in the 1991 Finals)

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  • contains Celebrity Photos, Jokes, Photo Galleries, Facts, Wallpapers, Astrology, Celebrations, Technology, Websites, Gazals, Shayries, Places, etc.

  • contains Mobile Ring Tones, Mobile Games, Mobile Wallpapers, Mobile Themes, Mobile Videos, Mobile Applications & Softwares, Mobile Phone Reviews, Mobile Phone Accessories, and the world’s LARGEST collection of SMSes.

  • contains direct links to Audio (MP3) and Video Songs for you to download for FREE. Both Hindi and English songs available for Download. No registration required.

  • contains a large collection of full length DVD quality Hollywood and Bollywood Movies to download for FREE. No registration required and direct links. All latest movies available for download.

  • contains reviews of the best websites. So that you don’t have to search the internet for the best websites, and you can choose from various websites.

dhoonta phir raha
hoon tumhe
raat din
main yaha se waha
mujhko aawaz do
chup gaye ho sanam
tum kahan?

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Sharp to Mass Produce World’s First*1 LCD to Simultaneously Display Different Information in Right and Left Viewing Directions

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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.
That, my friends, is Globalization!!

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A little boy wanted $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50.When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to forward it to the President of the United States as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $20 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $20 bill, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the White House in Washington, DC .and those assholes deducted $30 in taxes.

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When i was SAD
u were with me........
when i was CRYING
u were with me........
when i was UNHAPPY
u were with me.......
now i understood that whenever u r with me i was in DEEP TROUBLE

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If you make a mistake you have to start over.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is stupid cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top...

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Always keep a photo of your girl friend in your purse
Look at it when you are in trouble
u'll feel that other problems are not as big as this one

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What men want:
A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

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Aisa dost chahiye jo hume apna mann sake,
humare har dukh ko jaan sake,
chal rahe ho hum tez barish mein,
phir bhi pani mein se aansuo ko pechchan sake...